To be honest, I think I do a pretty decent job in the classroom. I'm not an amazing teacher, I'm not the greatest, but I am pretty confident in what I do. Well, I was.
The more I learn in relation to teaching, the more I find that the process of becoming a better, more effective teacher, is like walking in quicksand while juggling.
I've never been a person to give up on an idea or a task because it was too hard, but sometimes I think, "DAYUM! This is hard!" Let me explain.
I recall some of my greatest teachers and their methodology they used to help us learn. A lot of the process was focused on discipline and repetition of learned concepts. Flash cards, memorizing vocabulary terms, and a lot of sitting and getting information was what we were used to doing. To be honest, it worked.
I've learned that that process is not necessarily suited for the 21st century learner. I've recognized that the same process was not necessarily suited for the late 20th century learner either. I hated sitting in class and not being able to move around. I hated trying to learn about things or complete processes in one particular format. I knew I was a different child ever since I was in kindergarten, but I didn't know how to articulate it. Example.
In kindergarten we were practicing our coloring skills and staying within the lines. It's kindergarten, we all did it. Don't act like you don't remember. Anyway. It was near Halloween and our teacher told us to color these orange pumpkins on a sheet of paper and then cut them out. We would be graded basically on our coloring skills. Well, I decided to color the eyes and teeth carefully, and then just color the rest of the page, pumpkin included, orange. It was much faster and less precise. My classmates looked at me and teased and ridiculed me for not being able to color within the lines. My teacher recognized what was going on and told me to color within the lines. I politely told my teacher that if we were going to cut it out, then why should it matter.
Because I was sincere and not being rude at all, I didn't get a punishment. Some of the other students began to use this faster and more efficient method. The results were the same, but we used a different method to arrive at that point.
What I've been learning is that as teachers, we need relinquish so much control and give students the ability to find alternate or even improved solutions. They also need to know that failing is okay. We just need to let them feel that it is okay to fail and then they can try again.
This class that I have been creating is trying to give the students more options, more opportunities to find their own solutions. I am trying to do this while relinquishing control and fitting within the school's policies. It doesn't feel like it is going to work. It feels like I am working toward a goal that has no real end. It feels like there is no real way to determine if this blended learning classroom that incorporates the COVA methods will be beneficial or even accepted by administration. Then I learn more.
I've researched and learned about practices and then turned around and banged my head. I've read and discussed with my peers and then felt rejuvenated and excited. I have no clue how I feel from one day to another. I just know that I am in it for the long haul and I will do all I can to make sure that I do what is best for the students. I have to incorporate these constructivist ideas and practices in order to prepare our students for the future occupations that haven't been created yet.
I have mixed emotions, but I know that I will keep pushing forward until I learn enough to feel confident in my practices for these young men and women in my classroom.
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